I’ve done really well this week with my goals so far, with a few minor adjustments and bumps. Today however I’m sucking. The husband came home and has thrown a few things off. Today I did not get up on time and now I’m just sluggish and frustrated. Granted, the toddler got up at 4:30 and was coughing and wanted in our bed. She wasn’t able to go back to sleep like she usually does after getting into our bed because the husband has to have the TV on when he’s awake. Which he was. So no one was sleeping much. Toddler was tossing and turning. I was tossing and turning. Husband was watching TV. UGH. 5:30 alarm goes off and I am like, ok I’m giving myself one snooze hit. so the second alarm goes off and I begin to get up. Husband then informs me that no, we don’t need to get up because he doesn’t have to go to work this morning. Well, there you go. Brain shuts down, fine. I’m going back to sleep. Which begins my struggle with actually waking up when old me had to to make preteen’s lunch.
I battle with using husband as an excuse to not do the things I’m aiming to do. Things like he’s leaving soon so I should spend as much time with him, maybe he’s right I can just sleep in this one time, I didn’t get hardly any sleep due to him, he doesn’t want to go on a walk after dinner so none of us go, he wants to sit at home so no bike ride or hike or outing today. He and I have discussed this before, that we are no longer the adventurous, nonstop couple we used to be. Now we are in a rut, an old people come home sit on the couch snack eat and tv, bed by 9:00 rut. Now the bed by 9:00 is no complaint 😉 I do enjoy that. But regardless, we are lazy. Our kids are neglected and we yell at them for acting up for attention. We are lazy.
So what do I do? I have to get up and do it without him. He will soon realize he’s being left out and he’ll either pitch a fit or come willingly. Either way he’ll make it there in the end. I have to realize that I can’t put myself or our children out in the dust because he’s not ready to get out of out rut yet. I know he wants to, he’s said so before. He’s just not motivated yet. I have to stop using him as an excuse to not accomplish my goals. I’m never going to reach them when I’ve got ANY kind of excuse. So today is a blundering mess, but I will make up for it. I have to. Plus, if I start kicking up my dust and getting things done, maybe he will see that he can accomplish his own goals as well.
I’m kicking and screaming, but I will get it done. I will get my run done today because I didn’t get it done sunday or tuesday. I’ve at least gone to the gym though. And I haven’t eaten out, I’ve always had my lunch box of snacks with me. So on many things I’ve accomplished a lot and done really well. I’ve eaten pretty well for the most part too. Binged on chocolate once and had one slice of pizza at an event, but that is still much better than old me. So I’m happy about that! I do feel myself craving and getting upset over fast food or junk food, but so far I’ve managed to control it. I’ve the fridge full of veggies and healthy stuff so hopefully the rest of the week will go by smoothly.
Tonight, we are going to the park to do my run. GET IT DONE MOMMA!!